Newly Merried Indian Couple Mms
on sunday evening, the couple asked their family for ₹20,000 as advance payment for a family meeting. relatives said this was to be attended by a family member of pawan from odisha. the next day, the family found the couple dead after hearing the sound of someone walking on the floor of their bedroom.
representatives of the bride and groom are supposed to meet three days in advance to discuss the logistics of the wedding at the registrar’s office in the temple or gurudwara in which they have registered for marriage. the representatives meet again, this time to collect the bride’s dowry. the formal session is held in the presence of wedding parties, witnesses, and members of the temple or gurudwara council. the couple may also have a puja (prayers) performed prior to the wedding.
the first recorded temple wedding in india dates back to 546 ad in pushkar, rajasthan. since then, weddings at temples have multiplied to include virtually all indian ethnic groups and religious sects, and are often elaborate affairs. the ceremony is performed by the family priest or some other religious dignitary. a gemstone is generally tied to the hands of the bride and groom as a symbol of wedlock.
religion, as a young newly married couple, made us both feel very spiritual. we were married with the understanding that we were falling deeply in love during a period when religiously-motivated couples were starting to get divorced in equal numbers. we thought that this is so sad, but it really wasn’t. it was wonderful. the more religious we are, the more we see the world through one anothers eyes and the more we are inspired by one anothers personalities. we found a way to respect and love the man we now call our life partner and respected the religion that brought us together.
middle-class bangalore, the thriving hub of indians in their native land, is a culture of undying work ethic. there is always some kind of errand to run, a vendor to meet or an association to support. people from the northeast, west and the far-flung remotest corners of the country show up to work in the morning and don’t leave until the day is done. it’s hard to keep up with all these people. living in bangalore is like living in a combination of suburb and rural. your room could be the size of my kitchen, but your need to know where your next meal is coming from is just as strong.
one of the best lessons i learned in my stint as a female us missionary in south india was that first hand accounts from people who have lived through real life and not the tv versions are the most believable. these women–most of them from the same generation as me–knew real, searing poverty. the east and west indian women i met who were living in the tenements in bangalore were separated only by a cost of living that often would exceed the equivalent of $10,000 in the united states. many of these women had never seen a doctor. quite literally, if they got a bit of an illness in the winter, they’d have to pick through the garbage to find a clean rag to use to clean their wounds. you simply cannot over-prepare a person for the real world, even when they are being raised in a relatively wealthy setting.
for most of my college years, i lived in the heart of new york city. i lived in the safest, wealthiest place on the planet. i did it all without knowing a single person outside my small circle of family and friends. that was a fun period in my life, but also absolutely difficult. i honestly feel like i am the only person in my life who has never lived in a “safe” space. i have endured years of loneliness as i have moved from country to country, city to city, state to state, and country to country.
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