If you’ve ever been on a first date, you know that there is typically a lot to know before you can actually say, “I’m going to kiss you now.” But what do you do when you have even less to go on? If you don’t know the person you’re about to kiss all that well, how do you get to the point where you’re comfortable enough to kiss her? You might want to read this before you start a new relationship. It might give you an idea of how you can get to that point as quickly as possible.
When you first meet someone, do you feel the need to give a quick run-through of your life and job history? Do you think you need to know their marital status and if they have kids? Do you think you should ask what kind of cell phone the person you’re about to meet has? You might have even more questions, but if you take a little time to sit down and really understand the other person, you’ll be a lot closer to a conversation where you can talk about who they are and what they’re thinking.
Ask Questions
The most simple way to get to know someone is to ask him or her questions. You may want to ask how they got their job, how long they’ve been there, whether they enjoy their job, what they’re thinking about work-related issues, or questions about their latest romance. Maybe you want to ask about the other people they work with, how they choose the books they read, or if they have any advice about dating. Whatever you decide to ask will give you a glimpse into who the other person is and will give you some idea of how to approach the conversation. You can also ask the same questions of your potential date in order to get a sense of how the other person operates.
The bottom line is that if you want to get to know someone, you need to ask questions, whether you’re asking your potential mate questions or you’re asking yourself. The more questions you ask, the better you’ll be able to have a conversation with the person you’re interested in.
Ask about what interests the other person. Do they work in a certain industry? Or would it be more fun to do something together? Whatever the topic, if you ask about it, you will likely feel more comfortable talking to the person you like, and you will feel more comfortable with the person once you have more of a foundation for a conversation.
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Build a good first impression.
Step One: Go to the gym before you go out. What you look like is important, but so is the way you smell. If you’re a bit on the pudgy side, grab a hoodie and pair it with a gym bag—it will be like a dress code you’re don’t have to adhere to. You’ll also want to look like you haven’t slept in the past 48 hours—this will help you exude confidence.
Step Two: Smell better than the rest of the herd. After a workout, your pores will be able to take care of themselves. Your only real task is to refresh your hair with some shampoo and go out into the real world in your best impression. Your most powerful weapon is the wardrobe you choose. Guys have a tendency to think that a pair of jeans and a t-shirt is a confident outfit, but then you have frat-boy types who think that they’ve struck gold just because they’re wearing a hoodie and wearing eye liner. And then there are the stylish nerds—the guy who looks like he came from a tuxedo shop for an evening at the symphony, only to discover the opera isn’t free.
Step Three: Always be on time. This one is pretty self-explanatory. The average person is late 30 percent of the time.
Step Four: Be clear and concise. Now that you are late, no one is going to be showing you any love, and that’s what you’re here for. On a first date, you want to be engaging. When you run out of things to say, try to think of something sexy to say that will move the conversation along. Again, come across as confident and interesting.
Step Five: Talk about what you’re doing at the moment. It sounds simple, but as a guy, you don’t really have to do much of that. So, when you’re telling a story about what you’re doing at the moment, emphasize the fun stuff. Talk about how much fun you’re having, because those are the two things you’re going to be talking about for the next six months. If the conversation goes well, there is a chance you may get to know that person a little better.
Step Six: Ask a question. If you have questions about the person you’re with, you’re not talking to the right person. If you don’t have any questions about the person, then you
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