“Sex is amazing,” says Marie Lloyd, “unless you’re the one doing it.” Lloyd, the author of the new book “She’s Got a Way,” has a way of delivering hard truths with a disarming, almost poetic candor. She’s talking about what it’s like being one of hundreds of millions of men (and a handful of women) who sleep with an average of two women a week, which according to the CDC, is 70 percent of the population. She has a way of making it seem casual, like it’s just one more dalliance that went too far for the other person. It seems like a one-night-stand, but it isn’t. It’s like the love notes you get from an office flirt who later moves into the next city without even leaving the building.
Although everyone lies — “I wanted to date someone who would eventually want to marry me,” Lloyd says, “but instead, I wanted to fuck.” — the single woman is denied the chance to out-lie the man who’s sleeping with her. “A woman is a teller of stories,” says Lloyd. “If I’m searching for a real man, at some point I have to see his false faces, because they’re better than no face at all.”
Using a dating app is a great first step, but so is getting to know someone in a safe, non-hookup situation like a vacation, an exhibition, a church potluck, or a movie. Sure, the casual hookup will probably end. That’s generally fine, as long as the kind of person that likes casual hookups isn’t the kind of person that you want to be in a committed relationship with. But trying to predict that in advance will only make you an unhappy couple.
9 Signs You Might Be in a Relationship You Never Wanted
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That’s one possible explanation for what’s happening among 25-to-34-year-old people in China: Their sex drives aren’t as strong, says Warner. People often don’t think about casual sex unless they are in the right mood, and then they’re generally not. This is especially true when it comes to the popularity of being in a polyam
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